aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

[ he gets it. maybe it's because soo-won also has a best friend that overrides all sense of reason, no matter how divorced they are right now, that he's not surprised to hear that this is what was used against yosuke or what he tried to do. ]

... and what were you forced to do after?

[ when faced with those glass caskets holding the ones they love most hostage ]

[ yeah. the hak of it all...

there's a slightly bitter smile though. ]

Wouldn't call it "force" to break them out, you know? I think all of us came back to our senses right away to work on getting them open. Some of us just had better luck than others, they were sorta heavy. But we got 'em out just as the platform started to break. They were still asleep, so we grabbed them as best as we could and bolted.

[ he. glances at his still shoeless foot with vague annoyance. ]

The illusion pretty much shattered after that, figuratively and literally. The stairs broke almost as fast as we were descending them, and our memories started coming back in full to point out that we were really in the wrong place.

[ a long pause follows. ]

... everything disappeared into stardust, including them. Even though we were holding on, it didn't matter. [ because they weren't really there? because they were sent somewhere else? he actually is not sure because thorns and isabeau are very obviously here and that really is throwing his sense off for the time being. ]

[ . . . hmmm. soo-won will reach out gently, to see if he can also look at the cut on yosuke's palm. it is admittedly mostly just a cover for an excuse to touch him, to help him feel another piece of what is physical and present and real. maybe to also give him something to hold onto, even if it is a pale substitution for the person he is truly looking for. ]

... I can see why you're disoriented, to say the least. Perhaps it is more admirable that you are succeeding in telling the difference between what was there and what was here.

[ he's not sure he wants to say 'real or not' because reality itself feels... oddly nuanced here ]

Even if you can pick apart the differences...

I'm sure what you're feeling is more tumultuous.

[ that's also apparently fine, dahut already looked at his hand for science. the cut is in fact what you'd expect from handling glass. shocking, i'm sure. despite not being a physically affectionate person by default, he's a tactile one, so this is probably helping without him recognizing why. ]

Mostly. There are still some details I'm trying to clear up, but I'm back now. I can remember the difference, even if trying to separate them is still... going to take time to forget some of those things. All of that effort, and in the end we still didn't stop the god from continuing with the erasures and we still lost the four of them even after we rescued them.

[ and for someone whose headstone really does say his fears including losing himself and losing other people this has been battering around in his brain since they got back. ]

It's not like that was actually our life and those people we lost didn't actually die, apparently. But it doesn't change anything. [ there's also the whole thing with yu that he's digesting, but he figures that's a whole separate issue. ] I can't imagine how the other three are probably feeling, too.

[ soo-won will be careful, at least, not wanting to make the cut any worse. but he'll still hold onto yosuke's hand anyway, loose and gentle. he lets his thumb run against the back of his hand in an idle, repetitive motion. ]

.... what a cruel trick. [ softly, and not without some heavy handfuls of spite. soo-won is neutral on most gods until they fuck with the people he cares about and then they are his enemy so fast ]

I'm sure you can all reconvene with each other later. [ regarding the other three. but soo-won is here right now, so he'll focus on yosuke ] ... but even so, I am glad that you've returned to us.

[ if the alternative was getting lost out there? he's not sure. ]

[ he should pull away and be stronger about this, and yet. it's hard to say if it was the god, or the maze itself, or what really caused all of this. maybe it doesn't matter. it was cruel in its own way, because he thinks about reirin's panic when she'd thought lucien had perished, elysium's struggles through their whole journey as a human with a weaker disposition, siffrin getting battered over and over again because puppet bodies can take more than an average human. it was cruel and it was unfair. ]

... my goal was to keep as many people alive as I could. [ that part never changed. ] But even if it couldn't be everyone, it was always going to be those three. I couldn't accept otherwise. [ so he's glad they're back, too. ] I don't know how this happened or how we got back, but I don't like the idea that this could happen at all. What does that mean for the rest of us?

... I'm not sure. It does sound like... how the maze already knows perhaps too much about all of us, but amplified to an extreme.

[ frowning in thought. so maybe it's just an even deeper, crueler part of the maze? ]

Do you feel as though you got any closer to finding what you were looking for?

That sensation... it's changed only slightly for me, but it has changed.

[ there's a frustrated frown. ]

This place should have left Yu out of it. I don't... I don't even know if he was just part of the illusion or if he's like that guy from the burger place who was here and now he's just in another part of the maze.

[ also frustrating! but the question causes him to slow his roll for just a moment. ]

... if I think about it? Yes. But I still don't really know what that is, so that's as helpful as ever. [ but there is a change. he can't deny that. ] We keep being told we have to go further in, and so far things continue to get more and more dangerous we go. Between the monsters out in the fog and now this... what else might be out there?

[ "the truth waits for those with the ability to endure." maybe there really is something to that. ]

[ rip nagi. soo-won frowns in thought at that, because it's really nothing they can confirm for certain, can they....? ]

... whatever it is, it's probably shrouded in a bit more danger. I'm sorry that you all were some of the first to uncover exactly how much.

[ mumbling in thought, followed by a sigh ]

But I'm sorry that your best friend was used against you so. [ hak is often used to manipulate soo-won's emotions, so he gets that ] Hopefully you'll get to reunite with him outside of here so everything is more... well. Clear.

[ no! we cannot! we cannot confirm that for certain and he hates it! ]

I'd believe it's only gonna get more dangerous the further we go, yeah. And... on the one hand, I'm glad none of us were alone in that experience. On the other, some of them really should not have been there. [ he is so concerned about all three of them actually, but.

more to the point, soo-won mentions yu and again, it's only because he gets that soo-won understands enough because of hak that he allows himself to say anything about it. ]

I would've been more mad if he'd been used to, like, attack me or something. As far as things go, it was just... seeing him was what made my memories come back. It was like being able to have him around for a few minutes only to be taken back just so we'd cooperate. That's the part I hate. [ ... ] We've talked about it and I think he's gonna come back to visit in a few weeks for the long holiday, but that's, like, if we get home before then? At all? Whatever. I guess...

[ he changes his mind about halfway through whatever he was going to say and sighs. ]

One thing at a time.

We're going to get home.

[ said with confidence that doesn't seem to be based in anything at all, but he will gently pat yosuke's hand that he's still holding as he says it ]

You're going to see him again.

I agree with you that it is one thing at a time, but we ought to remember the road we wish to take even as we walk along it. You will return to the people you wish to see. I promise.

[ this is fine. usually he's the one throwing around baseless confidence for everybody else, but he kind of wants to roll back in the river and not get up at the moment. at least he's not thinking too hard about the fact they're still holding hands. ]

... I know. [ he does, logically, know this is true. ] The whole point of doing all of this is to remember why. Losing sight of that's just gonna get us all turned around again. [ his free hand comes up to scrub over his face. ] Sorry, this is so embarrassing.

[ being?? traumatized?? missing your friends?? all of it!! ]

You're right. We're going to get home and everything's going to be fine.

[ soo-won will simply just lightly bump shoulders with yosuke when he scrubs his face, both playful and affectionate ]

I don't think I've heard or seen anything particularly embarrassing from you...

[ oh yosuke you are so silly ]

It's alright. To feel worried or lose faith is normal. But I'm glad you have people you can rely on so that those moments are easier to stomach and push through.

[ thanks buddy... ]

You haven't known me long enough then. [ wry. but he'll take it anyway. ]

People here have been surprisingly nice about all of this kind of stuff, so I want to keep doing the same for them. That's the strength I need to keep going, I think. [ if he can't do it for himself, he'll do it for other people. ] That includes you, too. For anything you need.

[ he will just pat yosuke's hand affectionately ]

I'm happy to simply take your company. I hope you will believe me when I say that is enough.

[ there are things he wants to do or ask for at the moment, but he won't allow himself to. so instead he allows the pat to his hand and he sighs before there's a weak smile. ]

Yeah, with you I do actually believe that. [ he can't do shit to offer political gain or even be anything particularly powerful, but he can offer a normal person experience and he thinks maybe there really is something to that after all. ]

INBOX for purgastory

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