aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

[ looks around the depression sekai like "yeah i can tell." ]

That's not a bad thing. If it's the best way to help you understand yourself, then you should keep doing it. [ he tilts his head to mirror her. ] A friend's working on her comeback as an idol, and she's been trying to put more of her feelings into her music, too. I think... sometimes it's hard when you feel like it's only you, or that whatever you think you feel isn't allowed to exist, so knowing other people can relate can help.

[ a gesture to his headphones. ]

I don't write lyrics or anything but hearing from someone else... it's kinda nice.

[ Look... we can't all be Tsukasa. ]

So you're friends with an idol too... [ Look at that, commonality.

But she's quiet for a moment, studying his headphones. He seems like your nice, normal, average guy who hasn't ever wanted to disappear from the world-- ]

Do you have feelings like that, Hanamura-san? That you think no one else feels or that shouldn't exist?

[ the clownery of it all... but he nods. ]

Yeah, her name's Rise. She's been building her career for a while and was starting to get pretty popular before she took a break, but she's back at it now. I know she's been working pretty hard lately.

[ fond... but less fond is the question because oof. thank you for thinking he seems normal, he is about to burst that bubble in a few seconds. ]

As for me... [ yes, and also no, and also yes. ] Not as much anymore, but sometimes... yeah. And without my friends they probably would've killed me. [ thank you, shadow. ] Things are better now, but sometimes it's still hard to understand or talk about them.

[ Killed him? Literally killed him?? ]

I understand that. Some things are still too painful or hard to process, and trying to voice them hurts, too. It might not be the same situation, but... I'm glad your friends were there for you.

[ yeah wild. ]

Yeah, that's exactly it. Even if you want to, sometimes it feels impossible when you don't know if another person will understand. [ there's a thin smile because that's been his work in progress for a year now. he also doesn't like that she does understand and it's obvious in his expression. that's... sad, mostly. ]

But thanks. At first I kind of wish they weren't because... it was stuff I never wanted anybody to know. But in the end I'm glad if it had to be anybody, it was that person. Those people. [ and maybe it's just because they're talking about it now that he laughs a little tiredly. ]

I miss them. Whatever I came here for had to be something important, but I miss my friends. We're supposed to do this kind of stuff together.

[ She remembered, of course. When those three had ignored her demands for them to leave. How they'd persisted, even though she'd screamed that she was tired of searching and trying and nothing working. In the end, they had understood just enough to stand their ground. If it had to be anybody...

Her head lowers, slightly. ]

I miss my friends, too. It feels like it's been a while... since I was this alone. I'm sure they would get along with everyone better.

[ sweet angel... also yeah entirely relatable content. lately, especially, he's been thinking about how even after yu fought for him against his shadow he had tried to deny it again. how he had felt so ashamed of himself and never wanted anyone to know how bad everything felt, and how alone he really was. yu had said to be brave and he was in the moment, but every now and then it becomes harder.

still... ]

Think that makes two of us. [ it's carefully said, giving her space to talk without bombarding her with his own thoughts. ] But I don't know about that. We're getting along pretty okay right now, aren't we?

I think that's mostly due to you.

[ Mafuyu is wonderful at socializing when she's faking it. When she's not, she is way too subdued and quiet. ]

[ he laughs to that, but then he kind of goes "oh you're serious" and he has to think about this a little. then again he is fairly social and he's used to not only yammering to whoever, but he's pretty used to what are essentially one-sided conversations. ]

Does that bother you?

No.

[ At first, that seems like all she's going to say. He asked if it bothered her, not a clarification. But it's almost like she can hear Ena's voice, griping for her to share more details. ]

If it bothered me, I wouldn't have brought you here. And you're not as loud as Tenma-san. [ Barely. ]

[ he would've been fine if that's all she said, but he seems visibly pleased that she elaborates anyway. ]

I don't think anybody's as loud as Tsukasa is. [ teasing. tsukasa is... so much... but that's friend-shaped. ] ... this did help though. Being here. Thanks for that.

[ Mafuyu dips her head, a little. Which seems to be "You're welcome." She's just glad it helped. ]

Do you want to head back or stay here longer?

[ Miku won't show herself, but she thinks that's her being considerate. ]

[ thank you, miku, he is still recovering from tsukasa's... ]

I think I'm ready to go back. I think I'm just... tired.

[ physically? emotionally? yeah. ]

Coming with? [ can he even leave without her, he doesn't know. but he also would understand if she wants her own space back for a bit. ]

[ He can't, but she won't say that. ]

Mm, I will. You should get some actual rest after this. That will also help with your thoughts.

[ And she ends something on her phone, which places them back exactly where they were. Convenient! ]

Mm. [ there's a sound of agreement because now that his head's a little less muddled and isn't screaming in full hd he does think a nap sounds like a good idea. they return right back to the library they left, all in one piece and with the room just as empty as it started. ]

Guess it's time to head back and fight a few cats for my bed. [ it's a low level attempt at a joke, but also not? some of those cats are bullies. ] But... I'll catch up with you later?

[ the tiniest bit of hope in his tone. he has already decided he's now just going to continue bugging her and making her talk to him because things are a touch too relatable and that doesn't feel good to know. not to mention he's now going "wonder if she's here because she wanted a way to find herself." ]

[ She tilts her head, again, as though that bit of hope puzzles her. She doesn't see that much value in interacting with her, but if that's what he wants to do, she doesn't really see a reason to say no. ]

You can catch up with me when you're ready.

[ If only she could remember why she's here. ]

[ she may come to regret this decision, but he seems eager enough to be friends so who knows. ]

That'll probably be before you know it. [ threat (no.) but he settles for offering another small smile before bowing his head. ]

Thanks again, Asahina-san. [ and if nothing else he will quietly take his leave to head back and probably be buried in 20 cats. may they both eventually remember why they're here. wow... a completed thread... proud of us. ]

INBOX for purgastory

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