aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

[ . . . ]

You miss him that much, don't you?

[ a soft little wondering, even his emotions come through as understanding. compassionate. where even if someone feels deeply against you, you might still impossibly want to see them again. at least yosuke's is fabricated

soo-won will at least go to sit somewhere nearby, just watching yosuke's fingers on the strings as though he's trying to understand how the plucking and sounds correspond ]

[ he's going slow enough that soo-won can see what yosuke's fingers are doing, picking up into something softer. ]

... it's getting worse. [ is the only answer he has to that before promptly snapping that box shut. ] You have six strings, and each string is a different note. E, A, D, G, B, and E. They all sound different by themselves, with the thicker ones having lower sounds. You strum them at the same time you're pressing down on different frets, and that's how you play different notes and pitches.

[ nodding along ]

Is this a song you like?

[ and because soo-won isn't the type to let the box stay closed after all that yosuke asks him questions, ]

Because he is at once both so close and yet so far?

[ though his own emotions do read as understanding. he gets it. ]

Yeah. It was easier to teach myself because I've listened to it a lot back home. [ for some reason he specifically has nickelback's first album, lp's minutes to midnight and the 2008 grammy nominees. ] I didn't really start playing a lot until a few months ago, but I've been learning on and off for a while.

[ leave the box closed!! he is allowed to be nosy, no one else is.

anyway the understanding helps, so he does have to think about this while his own emotions are kind of uncertain. it almost feels like he might not even answer. ]

Because ever since he literally evaporated from my arms and then showed up on this stupid TV I kinda feel like this place wants me to stop thinking about the fact he's gone. [ and keep using yu against him to get him to cooperate, except for the part where it works every time and now he's mad about it. ]

[ that's so funny oh yosuke

soo-won makes a noise of understanding, watching yosuke's fingers strum as he takes in the explanation even though he thinks the issue with yu is probably... more pressing.... ]

... you said that you'll be seeing him soon once you return home, no? [ when yu comes back for. a break or something? (soo-won doesn't understand school schedules.) ] But you return here nonetheless, even knowing that this television isn't truly him.

[ please leave his bi panic alone, he is trying to be so normal here... ]

Yeah, he's probably coming to visit for the long holiday for a few days. [ which still feels so far from now, but damn. ] ... don't tell Hien. I don't want to disappoint him, but I didn't want to drag him here with me, too.

[ the tv is not yu and hien had offered to come with him to sit in the trailer with him if he wanted to actually come back, and he'd been too unsure to actually ask. ]

Maybe I don't have a reason, I don't know. It doesn't matter, if it's anything like the last couple of times this place is gonna disappear soon anyway as we keep going.

[ what point is there in being normal when the other guy involved is also a huge weirdo ]

Your secret is safe with me.

[ as he presses a finger to his own lips, thoughtful.... ]

... I don't think it's disappointing to find you here. Sometimes I think about doing the same, if it means seeing my father again. However then I think about how my real father might be much less forgiving. [ a soft little huff. yu-hon would rage against soo-won for losing against his weakness. but this isn't about him. ]

... but I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be close to the people you love. In any way that you can.

[ depends, are you going to tell him about you and hak fucking DYING? ]

Knew it would be. [ he has the audacity to wink. but... hm. no. ]

I get it. It's a decent likeness until it isn't, so you at least think about it for a bit. Although that doesn't exactly make me feel better about your entire life, man.

[ he continues picking at the strings and playing while he tries to figure out his words. ]

... when that morgue was around, I spent some time there, too. Even knowing the corpse in the casket wasn't really Saki-senpai, sometimes I sat there to look at her and remind myself what I'm trying to do. [ ... ] Maybe with Yu it's the same.

[ no..................... ]

Ahaha, my father was the type of person who would tell me to get better from being sick by saying I should defeat my illness! [ and his emotionshare is soooo fond and admiring ] He was caring, but his way with words scared even Hak when we were young...

[ so funny ]

And what would you say that you're trying to do?

[ he kind of gets it. normally he'd think that his father sounds like an asshole, but he also kind of gets it because sometimes that's just what you say when you don't know what to say. ]

But you still loved him. [ so. again, he can't entirely be upset about that treatment. ] Just another reason this place sucks.

[ ... but hm. ]

... I'm just trying to live. [ useless answer, he knows. ] I made a promise to myself, and to Saki-senpai, that I'd keep trying to live each day to make up for all of the ones she didn't get to live to see. It means taking all of the good days and the bad days, the normal ones and the special ones, living without running away. I have to remember that.

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