aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

[The jolting makes him stir, but it's only to groan under his breath as if he's being forced to get up for school, or something. Drowsily, he turns his face down between Yosuke's shoulders and hides it there.

Noooo, it's warm and comfortable. He doesn't wanna get up.

He stays this way until Yosuke pokes him in the cheek, and he grunts gently. The sleepiest, most gravelly,] Dude... [Oh yeah. He's in Yosuke's room, spooning the guy, and they fell asleep together.

WOW!

His eyes sort of snap open, even if he still looks pretty sleepy about it. OKAY!! He's awake.] Uh--you okay? [Did you have a bad dream about being yaoi?]

[ shoulda been a dream about yaoi. given that his free hand is pressed against his own side it's probably more likely he had to revisit hien's monster form and the events of earlier.

but he seems to relax when ryuji looks at him like that, and there's a very stray "cute" floating through his thoughts before he opens his mouth to answer. still nothing though, and his eyes go half-lidded in annoyance. right. still no voice.

he tucks himself back down into ryuji's chest because he's still a little tired and now a little perturbed and mad, but he grabs for his notebook again. ]

You can go back to sleep if you want. Our ramen's gross by now anyway.

[Damn... Not the nightmare.

He sleepily flusters at the thoughts, but luckily gets the opportunity to hide his face in Yosuke again somewhat. Thank you.]

Nah... Need to... get up.

[Looks stupid by yawning gently immediately after saying this. He rubs at one eye before draping the arm back over Yosuke.] Meant to eat the ramen, but fell asleep... Dammit. We can just get some more. [THE RAMEN. He's never sacrificed ramen so terribly before in his life. He's really in purgatory.]

Feelin' any better...?

[ he might not be able to talk, but this doesn't stop the snort of amusement.

"very convincing."

now that he's making this any easier given the way he refuses to sit up. their ramen... abandoned... but they can get some more, food scarcity isn't real when bostco is literally outside. he considers the question, and he still sort of feels sort of wiped, but he doesn't feel like saying that so he nods instead. yeah, sure, he's feeling better. close enough. he sticks his arm out and starts writing again though. ]

You're surprisingly good at this.

[ this probably sounds rude, but he mostly means ryuji's good at holding still and letting yosuke do whatever the hell he thinks he's doing. he seems to realize that a clarification's probably necessary, so he adds on: ]

Kinda thought you'd just shove me off after a while. Aren't you hot?

[Nooooooooo. He gets immediately shy and flustered despite the clarification. There's a bit of a dismissive shrug. He stretches his legs and body out before contorting right back to the relaxed side slump he had previously.]

Nah... Didn't notice 'cause I was asleep. [He doesn't say anything for a long moment.] ...Was kinda nice.

[Yosuke was warm, and he was a little tired, too. Even though he runs hotter as a guy with great metabolism, he didn't notice the heat. Yosuke is welcome, though.]

Sorry, wasn't tryin' to make it weird, or anything.

[ he's currently sitting here thinking about how this escalated in such a sideways direction where at first he was suspicious of the guy, and then they found out they were both persona users, and then they became friends, and then they made out, and now he's willingly cuddled up to him with zero intentions of moving.

fucking wild when not even a year ago he was busy bitching about possibly laying too close to kanji. there's a long moment he taps his pen on the page, feeling the beginnings of an oncoming headache. ]

You're only making it weird by apologizing for making it weird, dude. I mean... it's probably not how I expected today to go but yeah, it was kinda nice. [ he shrugs. did he expect to get chomped? no. did he expect to like cuddling with someone and napping? also no. and yet.

"you might as well just stay." ]

[THIS ESCALATED SO QUICKLY FROM IDIOCY TO IDIOCY. And yet, he is here, almost refusing to stop cuddling with Yosuke unless Yosuke tells him to get lost. Sometimes, you are two boys who crave affection and belonging.

He thinks about Edamura said about it being weird if he makes it weird, and he winces to himself at how bad he is at talking about stuff. For a long time, he doesn't say anything actually.

Clearly, he's staying, though, as he is not making any motion to get up.

Finally, he says quietly,] What are we? [Which sounds so stupid when he says it, but he really doesn't know any other way to put it.]

[ love ryuji trying to dtr while yosuke's still trying to comprehend what the fuck is going on. granted, this is a very fair question judging by the fact yosuke doesn't immediately have an answer. ]

... [ his mouth is moving like he wants to talk, but he is once again limited to text. ]

I don't know. Friends, definitely. That part didn't change, I still like you. What do you think we are?

Sorry you gotta write everything out. I probably should've waited.

[AAAAAAAAAAAA. Hate them.

He's not sure what he is looking to hear really. Read? He doesn't know what he thinks he wants Yosuke to say to him in response.

Things have become... strange in a week's time. Muddled. Confusing. To him, at least.]

Friends.

[For starters, quickly, so Yosuke doesn't think they aren't. They are friends for sure. No one else really gets him the same way Yosuke gets him.]

...I feel like I don't know as much about you as I should, but... I wanna. Uh, anyway. The, um... kissin'... [Wow, Edamura, this is way harder than you made it out to be, asshole!] I-It wasn't bad! I just mean... about the kissin'...

I probably would'a died if you told me a while back I made out with a guy I didn't know very long. I thought it meant I... Anyway, I still like girls, too, but... after thinkin' about it for a while... I didn't like when Hak kissed me, but I didn't mind when it was you.

[You aren't making a bit of damn sense, dude.]

[ he just shrugs because he would've pressed the issue anyway at some point. the annoying part is that he has to read it instead of hearing any sort of tone indicator from yosuke, and yosuke knows that'd drive him insane, so. he's trying to be more intentional with his words.

this is probably no less confusing that they are having this conversation cuddled under a blanket on yosuke's bed, now that he thinks about it. ]

Supposedly, you can like a guy and decide guys are okay, even if you don't prefer them to girls. [ nobody in this fucking game has actually used the term bisexual, as it turns out. ] Obviously I still like girls, too. And I'm... I don't know what to do about Yu, but I really like him. I know that much. That's kind of what started all of this.
But kissing you was good? Like I liked it, and I don't know what that really means. Maybe it doesn't have to mean anything? You can kiss your friends even if you aren't into each other like that.
But like... same? I know we have to get back and we have things to do, and Yu and Akira are waiting for us, but I wish there was more time to know more about you.
I don't know what that means though.
I spent... a really, really long time telling myself I could never think about another guy, and how it was wrong. And then I met Yu, and then I kissed you.

[ now they can both not make sense. ]

I get it. Me, too.

[He is really making Yosuke write out all of this, wow. He would never be this interested in reading anything if it had something to do with school, but he's super invested in this. Hilarious.

Why won't anyone tell these dumbasses they are bisexual with the word? It's fine.]

Do you, uh... want it... to... uh, mean anything...?

[The other part is fine. He gets all of that. It actually makes no sense, but the most sense. He feels the same way. But this is the most important part.

This is the conflicting part. Do they keep the boundaries? Will they be able to? What about Yu and Akira?]

[ ryuji this is why you're failing all your classes. it's fine. it's a delicate and complicated situation that requires full attention and maybe it's good that yosuke has to write everything so he can't just blurt out whatever. a dubious squint. ]

I can't tell if you're trying to ask me out or not.

[ which like. fast and soon and they're leaving anyway, but the real issue is they do know they're going back to the same world. just. you know. five years apart. ]

I want it to be a thing we both are fine with if that's what you mean. But it doesn't have to be like... an exclusive thing? I mean kinda. Exclusive here maybe but.

[ ryuji can read that before yosuke gets frustrated and scribbles it all out. hold the fuck on. ]

You never answered me about Akira.

[WOW. His face turns beet as hell red at the first part. He opens his mouth and stammers, but then shuts his mouth again quickly so he can read the rest.

Well, before Yosuke scribbles it away in frustration. He reaches up and gets Yosuke's hand to try to make him quit that. Though he lets him write the last bit.

Okay, well!!! He dodges the first half for now to go with the latter.]

About Akira?

[ rotates like a hot dog roller again to actually look at him with a flat sort of look before returning to the book. apparently the rest can wait a sec. ]

You like him, don't you?
You talk about him the way I think about Yu.

[DON'T ROTATE TO LOOK AT HIM, OKAY!!!! AAAAAAAAA. He hunches his shoulders up to his jaw a bit. Stop!!]

I... [He clenches his jaw, unsure, looks away.] I don't know... I never thought of it like that until after...

[They kissed. Anyway!!!!]

I don't think he's... I'm just second-rate news to someone like him, dude.

Like, he's always chattin' up the girls, and then there's... [Lowly, like it hurts to even say the name:] Akechi... They got a whole weird...
thing.

[ there's a little sympathy because man. he gets it. but also he will continue to drag him through the mud to work through it. even if he's still cuddling up against him to soften the blow. ]

And you think I thought about this shit until Tobari made me?
I think I knew for a while and just... didn't want to face it. It's not like I'm a prize either for somebody like him. He's my best friend and he can have pretty much anybody in the world, you know? Plus there's Rise. She's had a crush on him for months, it's obvious.
Akechi's the other Detective Prince right? What's weird about it?

[Not like this! Finish fixing your own issues, don't even LOOK at him!

His sigh this time quiet, resigned.]

Akira is always stretchin' his hand out for everyone, even the people you might not think deserve it at first. That god made them... rivals, I guess. So they kinda have this... connection, or whatever.

He could have any girl. Hell, he could have any boy, too. I just... I dunno. Even if he's made me feel some kinda way, I don't think he feels the same way.

[His huff is wry.]

Why does this all gotta be so complicated for? Feelings, I mean.

[ BITCH YOU ARE NOW A PART OF HIS ISSUES IS THE THING. ]

Bonds, yeah. Makes sense. Like... Izanami gave the power to both Yu and Adachi, but Yu still managed to make a connection with him while we were running in circles trying to pin the guy. It's why the idiot went to confront him alone in the TV world.
All of the girls like him, and even Kanji and Teddie get annoying about wanting his attention. So it's like... why me, right? Why did he pick me to be his best friend? And why am I the idiot who decided it was more than that?
That's how it feels for you too, right?

[ he stops writing to let that hang, even if he's tucking his face a little further into Ryuji's shoulder again. ]

It shouldn't be complicated but somehow it's like... a lot. It's a lot of questions and not knowing what to even do with it. But at the same time maybe he does feel the same for you. You won't know if you don't ask. And if it's not the same, he'll still be there for you.
Or that's what everybody keeps telling me.

[LOOK HERE. Look, shut up.

Thanks for letting the stuff he already knows and understands, but doesn't wanna admit hang. There's no sting about it getting pointed out, only a resounding reverberation, like a gong, somewhere deep inside him.]

Yeah, [he admits, finding it funny, finding it painful to know someone out there understands him so perfectly, and yet...] That's how it feels for me.

[Who better to be with Akira than someone else? Okay, well, he doesn't think Akechi is good enough for Akira, but whatever. That is a personal bias and opinion. Anyone else, though, would be way better than him.]

It sucks admittin' you're mid at best. But I don't think you're mid, or nothin'. I think Yu would be lucky.

[Surely Yosuke doesn't fail classes. And, look, Yosuke has style, Yosuke has musical talent, empathy. They're still different in some ways.]

I know. [About the last part.] He would be.

[ this time he doesn't write back. there's a noise of acknowledgement that's maybe like a thank you, but it's debatable if he agrees. yu has had to walk him through his own anxiety and depression way too many times and his own fears are that it'll always kind of be this way the more clingy he becomes. yes, fine, he can outgrow those things, but also... it's difficult to conceptualize when you've spent this long being jealous and proud of someone all at once.

so what this means is maybe he's tapped out on the subject, or he's just trying to think of what to say. instead of responding, his fingers come up and seem to be loosely bunching up in ryuji's shirt. you know what, it's your turn to talk for a bit, he's trying to think. ]

[Everything is WAY too silent, but that's fine. He will endure the awkwardness rather than force conversation onto Yosuke, the boy who can't even verbalize right now. In the end, it just makes him remember how he could have definitely picked a better time for all of this.

He reaches up and wraps his hand around Yosuke's, not to pull it away, but to just hold it while it clutches his shirt.

He'd like to kiss Yosuke again, right now, if he's honest... something about it simply calls to him, but this, logically, seems really damn weird right now. Can he be normal for two minutes, please?]

I'm not tryin' to come between you and Yu.

[Why the hell did he say that as if he was trying to hook up with Yosuke? HE JUST MEANS HE DIDN'T WANT TO COMPLICATE THINGS FOR YOSUKE. Damn, he can't carry a conversation for shit, can he?]

I meant, like, uh, with the practice, or whatever. You gotta do what you wanna do 'cause of how you feel.

[ wow. actually. he is just now realizing how eerily quiet it is without his ability to yap and that's spooky. he allows the handhold though and he looks down at both of them, a pensive little look on his face as he thinks this through.

ryuji had asked what they were and despite writing a whole five paragraph essay about it, yosuke still doesn't have an actual answer. it takes another long moment before he moves to write again. ]

I know you're not. I think I'm already getting in between me and Yu anyway.
... I like him. I know that. I don't know when I'll tell him, or even if I will at all. My focus right now is getting him home.
But I liked what we were doing before I left last time. I only left because I didn't know what to do about it.

[SEE? See? Equally as annoying how much he misses Yosuke's familiar yapping. Stop taking the voice. Now he has to do even MORE talking.

He waits patiently to read what Yosuke writes, but then ducks his head down to bury it somewhere against Yosuke with a sigh. He understands that, too. Getting them home is more important than whatever bizarre line-straddling feelings they've got.

Problems for later deuteragonists.]

S'fine. Me either, so, like... I didn't stop you. Thought you needed some time, or somethin'. [He realizes he didn't say anything about how it was. Fuck.] Uh, I di-didn't hate it or anything! I... liked it, too.

[ problems for later deuteragonists... ]

A week, Ryuji.

[ as in YOU GAVE HIM PLENTY OF TIME TO WHERE HE STARTED TO THINK MAYBE IT WAS BAD. but he clarifies not long after that, and it means he puts down the pen again for a second to debate what he's doing.

what he ends up deciding is to turn his head and kiss him again briefly, pulling back with a questioning look as if unsure if that still applies. ]

[DON'T A WEEK HIMMMMM!!]

I-I was just givin' you time, dude! And things--

[Oh. This completely short circuits whatever the fuck he had been talking about. His cheeks flush. He looks surprised, but not displeased. A few seconds of searching Yosuke's own searching look. He realizes it's fine. That Yosuke didn't do it to tease him.

His smile is small and lopsided. After a moment, he leans forward to kiss Yosuke in return. It's timid, but he doesn't really pull away. A kiss and a pause to see if Yosuke changes his mind.]

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