aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

Something like that. [ he gets the point at least. ] But on the other hand, as they say, love doesn't pay the bills.

[ nobody says that, but he does have the responsibility settled into his brain. still... it's hard not to think and daydream about it. SORRY. YOU ARE A GOD SO YOU ARE KIND OF OLD? it's okay, you don't look it, rafayel. but it's true, isn't it? being here has forced them to confront the things they haven't settled on before. ]

I wouldn't disagree with that. People are stubborn and people want to be accepted for who they are, whether that checks somebody else's box or not. [ rafayel may not make it personal, but unfortunately yosuke is soft-hearted in a handful of ways. ]

I think the thing really comes down to how other people here have also helped shape our choices here. I know there's some stuff I wouldn't have thought about or tried without talking to some of you guys. This experience has sucked in a lot of ways, don't get me wrong, but... at the same time, it's going to be weird getting out of here and knowing you're all out there and I won't see you again.

Now that's really something a boomer would say...

[ yosuke... what happened to your youth? ]

Silly, you don't have to worry about that. I agree that separating is always hard, but I think... even if we do forget our experiences here, the memories we have and made... are still with us. Somewhere. I'd like to think, even when we can't recall, they still shape us. In a way, it's ... like when we first got here. [ not to state that they have full clarity now or anything, but that... even without knowing why they were here, they persisted. he's sure in the same way, whatever experiences they have here will permanently change them too. ] Or, who knows. Maybe you'll see me in your dreams?

Or I'll see you in mine, and you'll be a full-fledged singer and songwriter by then.

[ he wonders if this kind of blind optimism doesn't suit him? or if it seemed hypocritical under the back drop of the life he's led so far? either way, he'd hope his words could express at least a little bit of his gratitude. ]

Hey! [ rude! but pouting aside... ]

... maybe you're right. [ blind optimism suitable or not, he trusts rafayel enough to actually believe it. ] This place has had enough of an impact on all of us that it'd be hard to forget even if we don't remember the details. I can't say I'd mind seeing you in my dreams though.

[ he belatedly realizes how that sounds and quickly shakes his head. ]

I mean! You know what I mean. At least knowing you were actually a real person I got to know.

[ oh...

he opens his mouth, and can't help but give a small laugh. ]

Woooow, that was bold. Keep that up, and your best friend might fall just like that. [ going to try and boop yosuke on the nose. ] But, same here. As you know, I don't have too many opportunities to get close to others.

Thiiiink we still could have done without half of the stuff that happens here, but— [ shrug. ]

[ he's just burying his face in his hands for a moment. ]

Dude, no. [ embarrassing!! however there is a boop and he pouts as his hands drop back to his lap. ]

I do know that about you, and it's one of the things I've been thinking about. [ he's concerned a little that rafayel might be lonely when they go back, but outright saying so sounds embarrassing. he figures the implication is enough. ]

There's a lot I could've skipped here, but sometimes some of those things... you know. It's stuff that also helps you in the future. We just might not know yet. I can't say I regret being here in the end.

[ thinking about...?

his eyes seem to study yosuke for a moment, and he can't help but give a weak chuckle. he presumes that was his way of expressing concern for him, but honestly... just the thought is more than enough. rafayel doesn't see his circumstances changing, but he's not necessarily resentful of that either.

at the very least, he feels like he's gained something here. maybe not the full understanding he may have idealized before coming to this place, but he can acknowledge that there's also value in those who at least try to get there. ]

Same. I can't say I regret it. So you should also try not to be lonely without us all, yeah?

[ says rafayel who will be lonely like he's always been, but no one has to know that. ]

[ he thinks maybe outright saying it would be overbearing but at the same time yeah, he's concerned and rafayel is in the collection of people he's going to think about for a long time. he can't help but laugh slightly at that though. ]

I was still a little lonely even before I met you guys. I don't know if it'll be any easier now going back. [ he will at least outright say that. ] But I'll give it my best shot, how about that? I think we all have some things we're gonna have to work on when we get back.

[ the sudden admittance to having been lonely does end up striking a chord with rafayel. it was hard to admit at times and even now, he knows he's refusing to acknowledge that possibility. however, in spite of all this, he does end up giving a sympathetic sort of smile. ]

Someone once told me that they can't always make such impossible promises, but that we can try our best at least. Back then it really just sounded like an excuse, but I kinda think I know what they mean now.

But, yeah, let's try our best. [ a pause, before: ] Cause I'll know if you don't.

[ what is he... santa claus... ]

[ he can see how that would sound like an excuse, and he thinks about this for a few moments. ]

It could be an easy way to brush off what people want and claim somebody's still making an effort. But I think I get that it means. Trying our best might make it feel less impossible. [ but he raises an eyebrow even if he gives rafayel an awkward little grin. ]

Should I take that to mean you're gonna keep an eye on me? I think I can handle that.

You better not take that back when I begin nagging you in your sleep, yeah?

[ not that rafayel is as much as a nagger as he is an annoyer, but listen...

tries to mess his hair up while he rubs his head. ]

[ they get along because they're both annoying in their own ways. there's a squawk though, a hand batting at rafayel's. not the hair!! the hair is already kind of a mess, but it's fine. ]

Why do I get the feeling you wouldn't let me take it back even if I wanted to?

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