aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

This sucks... [ it's a low sort of whine because why!! he is done being tested!! ]

But if it was something that big that we'd agree to come to a place like this, testing our worth might make sense. Kinda wish we knew what the scale was for that sort of thing.

I think, given enough time, we'll learn that for ourselves.

[ Mafuyu is patient. ]

For now, all we can do is endure and try to keep moving forward. With moments like this for respite.

Unless the scale keeps changing the further we go. [ he can be patient, but he also will point out the possibility. ]

... to tell you the truth, I'm not always great at respite. Usually I have to be the one to call a break for everybody, but here it feels... [ he shrugs. pointless isn't the word he wants, but it's harder to make himself stop when it's not for other people. ]

Then I'll remind you.

[ She says this very simply. ]

Sometimes I need reminders, too. But I'm also used to reminding someone else to take breaks.

[ he seems surprised by the straightforwardness of it. ]

... thanks then. [ who is he to argue? ] Your friends are bad about it sometimes, too?

[ he'll just make a mental note to up his efforts to check in with her. ]

One of my friends is so busy composing music that she'll forget to eat or go to sleep if I don't tell her. She was hospitalized for it once.

[ This is not an exaggeration. ]

Geez. Now that's some dedication. [ but the look on his face seems to go ??? and quickly to ?! ] She's okay now though, right?

[ and more importantly... ]

I never really asked what kind of music you guys are making. [ is this helping him decompress? yeah, a little. ]

She's fine, with reminders.

[ Between Mafuyu and the high school housekeeper, Kanade is somehow surviving. ]

But it depends. Sometimes it's electropop, sometimes it's lo-fi... here.

[ Again, the phone. An example starts playing. ]

[ well now i understand the fishtank in her display name.

but also what on earth ARE THESE GIRLS OKAY? this is me, not him. this is also slightly him but he's actually taking this slightly more serious, listening to the words but also the general vibe of the music itself. without noticing, his fingers tap out the beat on his elbow and he appears to be giving this some deep thought. ]

Who writes your lyrics? That same friend? Or is it all of you?

[ anyway he's not going to let it stop until the song's over, thank you. ]

[ Well, you see, she also has an empty fishtank that she'd just stare into--

She lets him listen in silence, only speaking when spoken to. But at least he recognizes the beat Hits. ]

It's just me. I write all of the lyrics.

[ This will surely not concern Yosuke at all! ]

I'm fairly fluent in English, so I'm able to fit in more wordplay with it.

[ every day he grows more and more concerned... ]

Huh. [ this also concerns him a bunch, but from an artistic standpoint: ] They're pretty good. I like the idea that you have to be a little more clever to tackle things instead of charging straight ahead even if it's not always the right way. And the weight of the secrets a person can hold.

[ it's his interpretation, at least. again, so much of this really concerns him. ]

... does it help? Expressing yourself that way. [ he is starting to understand a few things, he thinks. ]

[ Interpretation is in the eye of beholder! ]

I... think so. [ Tilting her head to ponder it. ]

I don't always know how I feel, so the lyrics make me think about it more and then I'm able to express it better. And our listeners seem to be able to relate to it.

Edited 2025-12-03 15:52 (UTC)

[ looks around the depression sekai like "yeah i can tell." ]

That's not a bad thing. If it's the best way to help you understand yourself, then you should keep doing it. [ he tilts his head to mirror her. ] A friend's working on her comeback as an idol, and she's been trying to put more of her feelings into her music, too. I think... sometimes it's hard when you feel like it's only you, or that whatever you think you feel isn't allowed to exist, so knowing other people can relate can help.

[ a gesture to his headphones. ]

I don't write lyrics or anything but hearing from someone else... it's kinda nice.

[ Look... we can't all be Tsukasa. ]

So you're friends with an idol too... [ Look at that, commonality.

But she's quiet for a moment, studying his headphones. He seems like your nice, normal, average guy who hasn't ever wanted to disappear from the world-- ]

Do you have feelings like that, Hanamura-san? That you think no one else feels or that shouldn't exist?

[ the clownery of it all... but he nods. ]

Yeah, her name's Rise. She's been building her career for a while and was starting to get pretty popular before she took a break, but she's back at it now. I know she's been working pretty hard lately.

[ fond... but less fond is the question because oof. thank you for thinking he seems normal, he is about to burst that bubble in a few seconds. ]

As for me... [ yes, and also no, and also yes. ] Not as much anymore, but sometimes... yeah. And without my friends they probably would've killed me. [ thank you, shadow. ] Things are better now, but sometimes it's still hard to understand or talk about them.

[ Killed him? Literally killed him?? ]

I understand that. Some things are still too painful or hard to process, and trying to voice them hurts, too. It might not be the same situation, but... I'm glad your friends were there for you.

[ yeah wild. ]

Yeah, that's exactly it. Even if you want to, sometimes it feels impossible when you don't know if another person will understand. [ there's a thin smile because that's been his work in progress for a year now. he also doesn't like that she does understand and it's obvious in his expression. that's... sad, mostly. ]

But thanks. At first I kind of wish they weren't because... it was stuff I never wanted anybody to know. But in the end I'm glad if it had to be anybody, it was that person. Those people. [ and maybe it's just because they're talking about it now that he laughs a little tiredly. ]

I miss them. Whatever I came here for had to be something important, but I miss my friends. We're supposed to do this kind of stuff together.

[ She remembered, of course. When those three had ignored her demands for them to leave. How they'd persisted, even though she'd screamed that she was tired of searching and trying and nothing working. In the end, they had understood just enough to stand their ground. If it had to be anybody...

Her head lowers, slightly. ]

I miss my friends, too. It feels like it's been a while... since I was this alone. I'm sure they would get along with everyone better.

[ sweet angel... also yeah entirely relatable content. lately, especially, he's been thinking about how even after yu fought for him against his shadow he had tried to deny it again. how he had felt so ashamed of himself and never wanted anyone to know how bad everything felt, and how alone he really was. yu had said to be brave and he was in the moment, but every now and then it becomes harder.

still... ]

Think that makes two of us. [ it's carefully said, giving her space to talk without bombarding her with his own thoughts. ] But I don't know about that. We're getting along pretty okay right now, aren't we?

I think that's mostly due to you.

[ Mafuyu is wonderful at socializing when she's faking it. When she's not, she is way too subdued and quiet. ]

[ he laughs to that, but then he kind of goes "oh you're serious" and he has to think about this a little. then again he is fairly social and he's used to not only yammering to whoever, but he's pretty used to what are essentially one-sided conversations. ]

Does that bother you?

No.

[ At first, that seems like all she's going to say. He asked if it bothered her, not a clarification. But it's almost like she can hear Ena's voice, griping for her to share more details. ]

If it bothered me, I wouldn't have brought you here. And you're not as loud as Tenma-san. [ Barely. ]

[ he would've been fine if that's all she said, but he seems visibly pleased that she elaborates anyway. ]

I don't think anybody's as loud as Tsukasa is. [ teasing. tsukasa is... so much... but that's friend-shaped. ] ... this did help though. Being here. Thanks for that.

[ Mafuyu dips her head, a little. Which seems to be "You're welcome." She's just glad it helped. ]

Do you want to head back or stay here longer?

[ Miku won't show herself, but she thinks that's her being considerate. ]

[ thank you, miku, he is still recovering from tsukasa's... ]

I think I'm ready to go back. I think I'm just... tired.

[ physically? emotionally? yeah. ]

Coming with? [ can he even leave without her, he doesn't know. but he also would understand if she wants her own space back for a bit. ]

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