aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

Yeah, I can fix it-- [ okay. unfortunately the response is a weird nervous clench in his gut because even though he's kidding it still does something to him to hear that. debatable if that something is good or bad, but it does mean he's distracted enough that elysium can knock his headphones off.

enjoy what he's listening to i guess ]

--hey!

[ punches wall what is yosuke so cute for

Anyway! He swoops down to pick up the headphones and slips it on without hesitation. He looks genuinely thoughtful for a moment, even starting to sway lightly to the beat. ]

You don't get called that often? Yeah, figures. Everyone's usually too busy trying to be edgy at your age.

[ so he says, but he is like. canonically a linkin park enjoyer. ]

Can you press next? I wanna hear what else you listen to.

[ his mouth seems to twist and twitch like he's thisclose to saying guys can't be pretty, but he's... learning... the toxic masculinity is flaking off bit by bit. ]

"Edgy?" I don't think I know anyone who's really trying to be edgy. [ he says as a guy who listens to lp regularly. he looks at elysium curiously, but he does reach into his pocket to hit next on his mp3 player. it is on shuffle and i hit shuffle on my own yoosk list so it means he does not realize elysium gets to hear something different. ]

Hm? More people could afford to toss around what they're thinking. Sorry, would you have preferred if I used handsome instead? I'll keep that in mind.

[ What are these two idiots doing when they agreed to spar, help me. ]

It's too bad I didn't get to bring my music player. Then we really could've traded tracks.

No, that's not... no. [ that is also embarrassing when you are a good-looking guy!! shut up!!! ] I don't have a preference so say whatever you mean, or whatever.

[ this is immediately stupid and it's fine. on the other hand he immediately perks up. ]

I always have it with me, so probably why it's here. But you should tell me what you're into anyway. I'm always looking for new stuff.

[ Files away that Yosuke is weak to all manner of compliments. What is he so funny for. ]

I'm not just saying it. If you showed more confidence, more people'll see it. It's just that easy.

[ He hasn't entirely forgotten what they're here for, pointing his sword directly at Yosuke. ]

But I'm a fan of alternative rock. Rise against the system and all that, you know? That's how you keep things fun and fresh.

[ yeah. ]

I'm plenty confident! [ he said, like a liar. he was actually very confident before moving to inaba and realizing so many people didn't like him just for existing, but he's trying.

but he's watching the point of the sword, drawing up both knives and bouncing back just a bit out of reach. ]

Sounds like we have more similar taste than I thought. That's usually what I listen to when we're in the TV world and training. It's easy, you know? Good rhythm to fight to.

[ you having all these game caps and manga caps on hand is incredible. aggressively noogies him. me. ]

Tell me about it. Loud enough to drown out anything, and with beats that carry you to wherever you need to go. What more do you need? I'm surprised you can afford it during combat, though. You must have remarkably good ears.

But music wasn't really what you wanted to talk to me about, was it?

[ half of these organically have turned up on my tl over the last like week tbh. ]

See, you get it. It's not bad though, I can hear Yu through just about anything. [ he has fairly good hearing and also selective hearing, and he knows it. but he gestures for his headphones back. gib. ]

You wanted to spar, right? [ that wasn't entirely it either, but the flare-up of anxious energy hits again. ]

[ Okay, okay, this part of his fun's over. The mention of that one name has him grinning again. ]

Yeah? Be sure to add me to the VIP list too, thanks! Catch—!

[ He tosses the headphone back in an arc. Then, in tandem, he moves forward to try and cut through his side. How's Toto's multitasking? Love my autocorrect for choosing that over Yoyo. ]

And yeah, I did. I still do. But weren't we supposed to talk about things at the same time, my man?

What makes you think you aren't, man? [ they're cyoa comrades, of course he'll listen. but he catches the headphones and slips them on, and given somehow my rolls for combat and combat only are high, he's apparently able to not only change the song but also block the strike to his side as he bends out of the way. ]

Good point. [ he's diving forward to try and cut from the front. ] You tell Thorns you remember him yet?

[ The way he's both ready and not ready for this conversation. But it's so true——they're CYOA buddies and he still feels like he owes the world to all the people who'd kept him from doing something he would've regret. If his situation gives Yosuke any insight whatsoever for his, then the least he can do is be a little honest, even if a part of it might be for himself, too. ]

No—ope. Gotta say it: no one knows how to piss you off quite like you do.

[ I somehow rolled one higher than you so I guess this means he manages dodge and potentially knock one of his daggers away. tch. It won't be Yosuke's imagination if he notices his grip tightening on his sword. ]

I'm just as bad at jostling status quo as you are.

[ he dodges and he jostles a dagger out of yosuke's hand, and he fumbles it a little just enough to take his eyes off of elysium and try to catch it. he does notice the tighter grip though, and it just tells him to tread carefully. ]

You think? [ a little dry, but... ] I don't know if I'd blame you if our positions were reversed. What are you even supposed to say in that situation? But you'll have to eventually, won't you?

[ he swipes his knife through the air, not to cut elysium but to direct his persona that blasts a large gust of wind his direction. ]

[ elysium like today i choose violence against myself… truly who would understand him better than the personas. ]

… Even if I don't say anything, he's bound to reach out to me anyway. That's just the kind of person he is. But that week, for the first time, I broke the status quo between us. Have you ever thought about it yourself? What you'd say to Yu if you didn't have to deal with the fallout? Or have to worry about how things would change?

Those're the kinds of things I've been forced to think about lately. It's great. [ sarcasm. ] Feels like I've been working under a time limit, yeah.

[ aaaaand since we got the same roll, he's just going to take a small little tumble to the side. ]

Pulling out the stops now, huh?

[ elysium also is causing violence with the personas themselves i see. but it's fine. ]

I got that impression. He told me a little about you even before I really got to know you, you know? [ but he has to think about this. ] This isn't about me and Yu right now, but I get it. You don't hold back what you're saying, and in the end it can really screw things up for the other person when you get to walk away from it.

[ but he gets why that's the problem, because: ]

Except the thing is you did say these things, and now you have to figure out how to deal with the belated fallout after he's had time to sit on it.

[ he bounds back, kicking his second knife up into his hand and twirling it as elysium tumbles. ]

You wanted to see what it could do, didn't you?

[ sometimes a little violence is good for the soul and character progression what can we say ]

Did he? He probably said something about me being annoying. [ He says, entirely fond. ] But this is really about you and Yu. I'm only talking to you now because, unlike us, your future's still undetermined.

[ By the time he's back to his feet, he's smiling brightly. ]

… And to an extent, yeah. Whatever happens, it doesn't change where we're headed. But maybe the path there will look a little different, and that's the frightening part. If I were you——I probably wouldn't let go. Even if I were called a bother over and over again.

He called you a good friend and said you'd do all the socializing for him, actually. [ another sideswipe. ]

Explain to me how your fates are stuck this way. You really can't change it? [ he will get back to yu soon, he is so behind elythorns right now. ]

Wow. He's surprisingly charitable when I'm not around.

[ FOR GOOD REASON. Another dodge. ]

And I wouldn't say we're stuck. More that it would be really irresponsible not to keep doing what we're doing. [ A pause—then a slash. Like he's just going through the motions. ] Imagine if there were another option for you. There are other people who could take your place in saving the world. At the end of the day, it's not your responsibility to carry that on your shoulders. You're one guy, and there are many other guys who could replace you.

But you wouldn't be able to accept that anyway, could you?

What we're doing isn't quite as drastic, but it's a similar kind of reasoning. We each have our own strengths that have led us down our paths… and in the end, we want the same thing. We're both working toward the same future—one, where everyone who comes after us doesn't have to live our struggles. And that's all we can ask for.

Probably because he knows you'd say something about it if you heard. [ he says, spilling the beans anyway. his knives follow through the motions, more to keep up the guise than actually fighting. ]

Anyway of course I wouldn't just accept that just because some other guy could replace us, but you make it sound like your paths won't converge and what you're setting out to do for the future won't allow you time together. Is that really true? Are you really so far apart even though you both want the same thing?

[ Their playfighting… this is such funny imagery. ]

Oh, the issue isn't whether our paths will converge again. They will. It's that we both have to accept that one day, they might stop doing so without any warning. That's the reality of it.

… And of the two, one path is far more likely to end earlier than the other. [ In tandem with a strike: ] I'm sick.

[ anyway it's funny that they went from real fighting to playfighting so my low roll means something because elysium drops that bomb and yosuke's attempting to dodge the strike and eating shit with a loud yelp.

he stays on the ground for a second, pushing himself up on his elbows to stare at him. ]

You... [ oh... ] Oh.

[ why is this the second time someone he really likes has said this. ]

... I assume Thorns knows?

[ Why is this the second time someone's said this to him, I'm in tears. Why are there so many sick people in Purgatory.

Regardless, he squats down in front of Yosuke, hands settling on both his cheeks. ]

Yeah. Most of the people who work for my company are. Where I'm from, what we're sick with used to be both a social stigma and a death sentence. It's still the latter, but it's far less the former than it used to be. I'd say I can go through maybe a fifth of Terra and not feel particularly discriminated against? Mostly because those areas have a lot more to worry about than just getting infected.

[ A soft laugh. ]

You know what I mean now, right? When I say I don't want to hurt him any more than I will?

[ i don't know but he hates it actually.

which is to say elysium joins him on the ground and he allows this and completely forgets to feel anything but kind of lowkey crushed about this because it does not add up with the picture of elysium he's had for weeks. ]

I mean I don't think I have to tell you it's kind of shitty to be discriminated against for being sick, but I don't know how Terra feels. [ granted, he is also aware of this being a thing for certain diseases on earth, so he settles for another frown. ]

... I do get it, but I think I also just think if he knows, isn't it more fair for him to get to make a choice, too? [ ... ] I don't really know how you feel about him, I guess. Sorry, maybe I'm kind of assuming because... sorry. [ he actually doesn't even know what sort of relationship the two of them have, he may have been projecting solely based off of him and yu and how thorns was in that glass coffin. and how they talk to and about each other. ]

You know you're working on what's basically borrowed time. Don't you think it's worse not to use it than to try and figure some things out to spend more time together?

We're too important at our jobs, Yosuke. Spending more time together will take away from helping other people. Of course we'll make it out to see each other, but I imagine it'll be under the pretense of work going forward.

[ There's nothing but acceptance in his voice—why wouldn't there be? He'd accepted this since he'd first gotten Infected. Seeing Yosuke feel for him is as bittersweet as it is warming, and almost instinctively, he finds himself reaching out to gently flick his forehead. ]

That's a whole lot of apologies out of you for no reason. I didn't tell you all of this for you to be sorry for me. Rather… that's why I keep telling you that I'm envious of you and Yu. It's not that we ever made the mistake of never prioritising each other—it's that we were never given the option among all the other things that are important to us. We'll regret it more if we ignore our responsibilities.

[ Well, this is a little of a lie. Unfortunately, he can and has skipped out of work from time to time, but…

It's fine. Allowing yourself the occasional bit of selfishness, so long as it isn't excessive. ]

It's different for you, though, isn't it?

[ this is where they sort of differ because despite everything with the murders and the tv world, he's still very much a teenager who sometimes is very adamant about how he thinks things should go because he doesn't have the worldly experience or understanding of things. he doesn't know the full extent of everything happening in terra, only gleaning bits and pieces from what he's heard from elysium before, but that also makes it a little harder to accept.

he does have to accept that obviously elysium would know better, and no amount of protesting is going to fix it. he scrunches up his forehead a little though with the flick. ]

We were only able to save the world because we were together. [ it's mumbled, like an explanation why he's fixated on that part so much. ] Also I'm not saying any of this because I feel sorry for you. I'm saying it because we're friends.

[ idiot. but... again, not even really being given the option to figure it out sucks, but so does having to choose your responsibilities. he understands the crux of the problem better now and also why elysium's been annoying about this... but yosuke will simply be kind of annoying back. ]

It's different because our world's safe again and our responsibilities are less, yeah. [ begrudgingly admitting to this. ... it's elysium though, so. ] ... I don't really know what this is though. I don't want to feel that way about him so that I can keep spending time with him because I have the opportunity to.

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