aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

[That's such a valid question and the real answer is that he's self-proclaimed... and then it became true...]

Well, yes! Emu is many things, including a force of nature, but she isn't exactly the sort to make decisions for the group or act in a leaderly manner.

I'm afraid there was no choice but for me to take on the mantle magnanimously.

[Soooo magnanimous.

Again, self-proclaimed leader.]

[ yeah okay this makes more sense. so much, in fact, that he pauses enough to reach up and pull lightly on his hair. stop being so full of yourself, weirdo. ]

[Oh help.

He squawks, flailing at that tugging.]

Hey! What was that for?!

[ he's just laughing like an asshole, sorry. ]

So what I'm actually hearing is that you decided to do this yourself and none of them thought of a good reason to disagree.

Hey!! It was obvious I was best suited to be the leader!!

[It was absolutely not.

He had to grow into it. Lord knows he had to really, really grow into it--]

[ bud, he knows you. he is not sure it's as obvious as you think. ]

I don't know. Even if it feels obvious that doesn't mean it's an immediate thing.
We all decided Yu was our leader just because he had his Persona first, but that doesn't mean it was that straightforward.

Hmph! I can't believe you'd undermine me like this! Aren't we friends? Does this mean you don't immediately see my shining leadership qualities?!

[Tsukasa is so easy to rile up in some ways.]

[ yeah. yeah he's noticed this and that's what makes it funny, sorry, tsukasa. ]

Hmmmmmmm I dunno man. What makes a leader, exactly?

[He perks up immediately, forgetting he was being teased.]

A leader is reliable, dazzling and the sort of presence that everyone looks to when they need a steadying rock! They are the sort to do anything for the people who are depending on them, and of course are entirely unimpeachable! And really, really cool, too!

[Nailed it.]

[

okay the problem is HE CAN'T EVEN DISAGREE? damnit, this is exactly how he would describe his own leader, so his expression withers a little. ]

Okay... well... yeah, okay, when you put it THAT WAY...
They usually are really cool and really dependable.

[He gets it... he would also think Yu is the epitome of a cool leader...]

Right? Right! That is exactly how a leader ought to be!!

[ thanks for validating his choices. ]

Some people are natural born leaders and some aren't, but don't you think people can grow into being a good one, too?

Yes, of course! I believe people can grow into anything they put their minds to!

[...]

I suppose I wasn't exactly... a perfect leader at first. But I do believe I've become a leader that my comrades can be proud of!

[ he tilts his head as if he's having to take the time to reeeeally consider this... ]

Yeah, I'd believe it. Leaders don't know when to quit either, so you were already halfway there.
Even if you're out of sync sometimes now and you're still practicing, you guys work well together. The synergy's there, you can tell.

[He huffs out a laugh at that, amused.]

Yes, of course it is! And of course we do! Naturally, any proper performances we put on are absolutely perfect.

Anything less would be a disservice to both the audience and our dreams.

[ he will pull your hair again to shut you up, tsukasa, don't think he won't. but he can't disagree either. ]

Guess it's no different than our team. As we kept adding new members we'd have to figure out their fighting styles and learn to work together in different combinations to cover weaknesses and enhance strengths. We got pretty good in the end.
But Yu was the one making all the calls, so... leader stuff.
It doesn't seem easy.

[... There's a flicker of something in his expression at that, and Tsukasa's gaze shifts away from Yosuke and towards his guitar again, if only to have something to look at.]

... I don't know about that. I mean--

[...]

--comparing our theater practice to actual combat seems quite... generous to me.

[ he tilts his head a little. ]

You think so?
It's a team following a formation so there isn't a collision, focusing on one main goal, making sure all of their moves hit in sync so they don't miss and injure themselves.
Like dude? I was sore for days after that sandbag fell on me. Theater's dangerous, too.

[Dryly:]

It isn't supposed to be dangerous. Don't get it mistaken just because this place has no proper theater safety.

[Also ignore the fact that he's also gotten badly injured on stage before.

That's not the point.]

... Still, I suppose I can see your point. Never mind me. It was just something that was on my mind.

[People died, after all. People died, and Yosuke dove in there to save them, and Tsukasa... watched.]

[ well. he's grown to know tsukasa decently well by now, he thinks, and it's why he stays quiet for a few moments before he gently pokes his arm with his pen.

WHAT IF WE DON'T IGNORE THAT, TSUKASA WHAT HAP.

anyway. ]

Wanna tell me what you're thinking then?
Or why, I guess.

[Anyway.

Tsukasa blinks at that, and then clears his throat.]

"Why"...?

[...]

It's just--

[...]

... I've never felt so powerless in my life before.

[As he did when watching Soo-won get eaten in half.]

[ well he does suppose that's fair. it would be scary to someone who isn't used to something like this. ]

To be completely fair to you, it's not like you could have ever predicted this was going to happen.
Anybody would feel powerless in this situation.
But I guess it doesn't change feeling like you wish you could've done something more. Or being afraid it happened at all. Right?

[That's all true and correct. Sure, it wasn't his fault, and there's nothing he could do about it.

But...

Of course, it doesn't change the fact that he stood off in the back like a coward while people were hurt and killed.]

Yosuke, you jumped right in there. Not... even a moment's hesitation.

[ well. yes. ]

Do we have to talk about why that was probably a stupid thing to do when I didn't know what Hien would do?

[Well. Yes.]

I mean! Yes! That is true!

[POINTS.]

That is absolutely true and I haven't forgotten that! But!! That isn't the point!

[what is the point, tsukasa,,,]

The point is...! Even if I'd wanted to, there was absolutely no way I could help Hien or Soo-won at all, and that's...!

[... a hard pill to swallow. Especially for someone who has always been a person of action.]

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