aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

We didn't remember enough at the time for it to be something to think about. [ and more than that... ]

It's more like something that I only notice I'm missing because it's not there, but it's not always something I think about because I know it's always with me. It didn't start being noticeable until a little after we got back.

So, in other words...

... Some aspect of yourself is missing and you're not sure what it is, but because you've always had it, you're sensing a loss nonetheless.

[ ... Interesting. ]

I could try to help you narrow it down, but I might not be of much help.

[ there's a slow nod. a steady, even breath. something to try and clear his head and regain some semblance of calm while he thinks. ]

I think I know what it is, but it's the "how" that I'm lost on. [ ... ] How do you lose something that's kind of a huge part of who you are?

[ this is maybe rhetorical, but also he thinks maybe trying to talk through it will give him some idea? especially the longer he sits inside a place that is basically herself. ]

There are a few ways for that to happen.

[ Speaking as someone who's lost her true feelings. ]

Can I ask what it is you lost, then?

[ how to explain... ]

Call it a physical manifestation of my own feelings. [ since she just explained a bit about the virtual singers, he thinks keeping this a little vague might help the point get across. ] Usually I can feel it, but I can't anymore.

... [ Interesting. ]

Can you walk me through what you did, immediately after coming back? No matter how minute the details.

Woke up in a morgue, apparently. [ dryly. ] Um... we tried regrouping with everybody and I left. I was heading back to the cat house and... the river was there, and walking was a pain, so I stopped. Dahut found me a little while later and he made a harness just in case. [ this sounds deranged out of context, wait. ]

I don't know. It suddenly felt like the river would fix everything, so we tested it out. And it did a pretty good job. [ gestures to his non-broken bones and healed wounds aside from his hand. ] But everything still kinda felt like a lot so I went to the library and then you showed up.

[ Okay. She's thinking through this.

He came back. They regrouped. He was going back to the house. The river. Dahut spoke to him and something about a harness?

... And a feeling the river would fix everything, which was apparently true. And now he feels like this. ]

Do you remember feeling this loss before you used the river?

I don't really know what I was feeling before then. Everything was... confusing. [ disorienting, because they're just come back and in that other world, he didn't even remember the connection he was supposed to have. ]

But if I didn't notice, then... probably not?

Then it's possible that the river might have had other properties other than healing. Like some of the rivers in Greek mythology, that would heal mortals but damage monsters, or erase memories.

[ She taps her chin, thoughtfully. ]

I can't say for certain, of course, but if certain things have taken influence from stories, like the candy house, it might have pulled from other mythologies and legends as well. Or it could be some other factor.

[ oh. smart girl. he would not have really come to this conclusion himself because this is not really where his strengths lie, but now that it's out there this sounds like it could be right. ]

It's weird because nobody else seemed to be able to feel it. I tried to explain it to Dahut and he said he didn't feel that way at all. But it was like... just knowing it'd work. I couldn't explain why. [ he seems to be wracking his brain a bit. ]

I don't feel like I'm missing memories or anything at least. I still remember everything a lot more clearly now.

[ It's fine. She's a smart girl. He's much better at stabbing things than she is. ]

If Dahut wasn't injured, it might have been knowledge only available to those who needed it. [ Just a thought. She has no real evidence here. ]

But I'm glad your memory's intact. All the same, it could be an exchange... a loss of something, just not your memories.

Guess this explains why my healing hasn't been working. [ this is mumbled to himself but he shakes his head. ]

Maybe that's true. Guess I should ask the others if they noticed, see if they lost anything, too. If we can prove that...

[ but then what? ]

It doesn't answer how to get it back though. Or how it can be taken in the first place.

That's true. This might just give you more questions than answers. I'm sorry.

[ Not as helpful as she wanted. ]

Kinda feels like that's the theme of this place. But it's okay. Just gotta wait it out, I guess.

[ he won't tell her how freaked out he is by that concept, it's fine. we are back into investigation mode for a moment. ]

Wonder if that's what they meant by endurance.

It's possible. [ A sigh. ]

Hopefully this is just temporary. Or there's some way to get back what you lost.

Yeah... [ there's a lot of questions, but this also makes him think of something more important. ]

If something like this happens again and this is our only source of healing, then doesn't that mean everybody's at risk of losing something?

That would be the logical conclusion, yes. Unless people prefer to heal organically.

[ She's so helpful. ]

[ hm. ]

Do we even have time for people to heal organically...? [ most of siffrin's blood was on the outside. ]

It's very likely situational.

[ Like if she had a light stab wound or something. ]

[ ma'am please don't get stabbed. ]

... yeah, I hate this. [ why!!! ] But we have to believe we're still moving in the right direction even with all of this.

I hope so. It at least feels like we're... progressing. I think.

[ None stabbings. The most exciting thing has been Melinoe giving her a jug of Sunny D. ]

[ and yet the sekai still looks like this...

he does seem to contemplate this though. ]

Not that I remember why I'm here still, but... it does kinda feel like we're getting closer. Is it just me? I can't tell if it's wishful thinking or we're actually handling the maze right, whatever that means.

[ Yeah, Mafuyu has felt empty for a While. ]

No, I think I understand what you mean. There was a sense of... knowing, that I'd moved forward.

[ please help her. ]

... Asahina-san, have you thought about why you might be here?

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