aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

[ he stares at this vial and he's filled with a deep sort of annoyance by this stupid thing. of course tobari would choose suzune. he never doubted it. but... ]

... you know I'll do everything I can to make sure she's okay. And I'd make sure she was comfortable and able to fully live the life she deserves. But... be honest with me. How hard is it going to be for her to live without you, too?

[ because of course he's still thinking of options. ]

... it's not ideal.

[ he can be honest about that. tobari would prefer to be where suzune is. he didn't even know if he wanted to go back to life in general, and he knew he didn't want it if he's going back to life alone, but if it's looking after his sister? it doesn't matter at all what tobari wants. ]

But Suzune's strong. It's just not safe for her to go back to our home without me. There's—

[ complications seems like such a fucking understatement but that's basically what it is. he shakes his head. no need going down that rabbit hole. ]

You won't need to look after her that much. Once she's figured out the path ahead, she'll work hard and be self-sufficient in no time. She already has enough skills as a performer that she can make a decent living to start.

I just don't want to send her somewhere entirely by herself.

[ and he does trust yosuke enough to be able to watch out for her ]

No, I get it. She's your sister and she's pretty much everything to you. Of course she's a hard worker and would be self-sufficient, I never doubted that from what you've told me about her. I think she deserves the chance to be safe and try to be happy. Do something with her life and live it for herself.

[ he had... deeply debated this since the party. he wasn't sure he'd even offer, but he had grabbed what made sense and made a list of people who could use his help. is it frustrating he can't help everyone? obviously. and he doesn't want to spit in the face of tobari's trust, but...

... family. the people you love more than the world, who you'd sacrifice everything including yourself for... those are the people you should be with. so yeah, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out an identical vial to hold out in his palm silently. ]

I do think you deserve a second chance, too.

[ here’s the thing:

stupidly, tobari didn’t expect this.

maybe it’s the same way that he didn’t expect rafayel to slip a vial into his clothes during the party. everyone has their own problems and they are trying so hard to resolve them. they’re looking out for themselves, and he never begrudges that.

… but it’s also been years since someone looked out for him anyway. the vial in his palm gets him to pause. freeze, really. ]

… Yosuke.

[ softly, a little awed, but also— ]

You don’t have to.

If you can’t, if someone else needs it more, it’s fine. You can take it back.

[ he gave rafayel the same warning—that tobari wasn’t going to use it how he wanted him to. this… he has no reason not to. but what if this is a rash decision? what if yosuke needs more time to think it over since it might be out of guilt and worry after what tobari is asking of him? ]

[ he holds up a finger and puts it to tobari's lips. shh. ]

Shut up, Tobari. [ bratty little brother energy, but he's also just hoping to get the point across. ] Listen to me. This would be one for Suzune and one for you, right? They're two gifts, so they're yours to use however you want. I... thought about this all night. I knew if I grabbed the vial, it was something I could give to whoever needed it most. And I made a list and I thought a lot about who could use it and what it might be used for.

And Medea-san's gonna get on my ass about how I should be more selfish, but maybe this is selfish of me to want to have a chance to get to know you more in the future someday, but I can't do that if you aren't here to see it. Okay? You just said it wasn't ideal if Suzune came back with me alone, and I know she'd be okay if she did and you know I'd take care of her. But I want you to really consider doing something for yourself. You didn't even think twice before deciding the other vial was going to her, did you?

[ NOT THE SHHINGLSKJDF

well. tobari will at least listen, because he owes yosuke this much... even though once he's done he's going to lightly whack his hand out of the way. and then reach over to flick his forehead. ]

Don't be annoying just to make a point.

[ there's more questions that he wants to ask. he wants to see the list. he wants to know that yosuke is entirely aware of what's at stake here—and tobari can't deny that this might be easier. if he's around, he doesn't need to put this weight entirely on yosuke. yosuke is telling him to make this choice entirely for himself, but that's the thing. tobari isn't sure he wants to live. he's not sure he deserves to, after all his failures and mistakes.

... but if suzune needs him, and there's a way forward, it doesn't matter what he does or doesn't deserve. he'll take it. ]

... I didn't hesitate, no.

But I'm going to give you just one more chance. I'm not belittling your choice if this is what you really want. If you'll give this to me, I'm not nice enough to let you change your mind in a few days if you decide someone else needs it more.

The least I can offer is right now. I just need you to really be sure.

Ow! [ he scrunches up his forehead and rubs the spot with two fingers despite the fact it didn't even hurt.

he knows why tobari's doing this. he had a feeling this would be the pushback he got anyway because tobari is himself and tobari takes his failures seriously but he also is someone who cares about his family. it's a war yosuke can't exactly fight for him, but the least he can do is give the man an option he may not have realized he had before. ]

What makes you so sure I'd change my mind in a few days? Everybody got a gift, and if there's someone who isn't covered I know enough people now that I think we could talk and work something out for everyone. This one... I'm really, really sure.

You have to trust me on this.

[ he doesn't know that yosuke would change his mind in a few days—but then he'd at least have the chance to think on it. if he still decided, at the end of everything, to give it to tobari then he'd accept it but...

tobari only said he'd give him one more chance. it comes and goes.

in the end, he is left here with not just one, but two of these goddamn second chance vials in the palm of his hand. he feels like an idiot. he didn't even pick one as his own item, before he even knew that he couldn't use them on himself, and yet here he is again—being saved by the grace of other people. his sister being saved by the compassion of people she doesn't even know.

sometimes people ask how tobari can still stand to be so kind after everything he's been through. but when he experiences moments like this, when he looks at yosuke and feels so proud of him... how is it possible for him to lose hope?

reaching out one hand, he closes the distance. his fingers curl behind yosuke's head, bringing him in closer to tobari's shoulder as tobari's arm wraps around him in a hug. ]

... I do trust you.

[ a long pause, and then a mumble, still disbelieving but still so, so warm ]

Thank you, Yosuke. You impossible brat.

[ it both is and isn't surprising that this is initiated, but it's not a difficult choice for him to lean into the gesture and press his face into tobari's shoulder while returning the hug.

for one thing, this may be one of the last times he ever gets to at all. for another, it's supportive and he wants to, because tobari's done a lot for him, because he thinks they could both use it.

there's a little laugh though, muffled into cloth but still there. ]

You wouldn't like me as much if I wasn't. [ ... ] But you're welcome. I mean it.

[ a second chance is deserved. ]

... I'll figure out what to do from here. [ what to do and where to go, he means. ] I think... Suzune needs to be safe, more than anything, and if we go home, I can't be sure of that.

[ so they both have a chance at life, but where? it's a little funny because no matter what else he's heard, tobari thinks most of these places are still better than itehari.

that's to consider for later, though. right now, he'll just pat yosuke's back as he keeps him in this hug until he wants to pull away. ]

... you know that now I'm the one who'll never quite be able to repay you, right?

Was this your plan all along?

[ he's obviously teasing, at least ]

I would agree with that. I think the decision of where you guys end up is up to you, and when we rescue them and they wake up, maybe there's time for both of you to talk it over.

[ they have time as far as yosuke's concerned. he knows tobari has his mission, but he also thinks it wouldn't exactly be terrible if he did choose somewhere safer and better for them to start over. he's content to stay in this hug for a little longer thought. ]

It's not about if you can repay me, it's about making us even for all that you've done for me. So there. [ hmph. ] A magician never reveals his secrets anyway.

[ tobari did have his own goals—but so many of them were for the sake of a better future that he could leave for suzune. he's not sure how much time he has left given the disease that may or may not still be ravaging his body even with this second chance, but could he risk it...?

he'll think about it later. ]

Magician, huh? So this is you waving your wand or something and making a miracle?

[ he barely knows about magic or magicians but they, in theory, have some fairy tales and books in itehari ]

Not bad. Might be your best trick of all time.

[ he can't fix tobari's disease. just like he can't actually fix elysium's, or soo-won's, or anybody else. that part does bother him, but he also knows what battles aren't his to fight. he can only do what's in his reach. ]

Somebody gave me a second chance once, so... my turn. [ little jazzhands. ] But thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

[ huffs out a breath of a laugh and just pulls back enough so he can look yosuke in the face, even if he doesn't quite let go of him ]

Then what's Mister Magician got planned for the last week?

[ again, not sure why anyone ever thinks yosuke's likely to let go first when affection is initiated first, so he will allow this even as he seems to contemplate how to reply. ]

Spending as much time with everyone as I can. Trying to talk to them and learn more to remember whenever we leave. It's kinda lame, but maybe smaller gifts for some people I really owe gratitude to even though it'd be stupid stuff from Bostco probably. Um... [ hm. it's a weird week. ]

... to tell you the truth, it's probably gonna take me all week to really feel like I can deal with saying goodbye to some people, so... probably that, too.

At least you'd have an excuse to walk out with twenty of something on purpose.

[ instead of this insanity of just. doing it anyway. ]

... but that makes sense. Some of you seem like you're from similar eras and locations at least?

[ he's been guessing based on how they dress and how their names sound - but the moderns do stand out to him. ]

That's assuming I give everybody the same thing, but fair enough.

[ maybe he'll get twenty of the same something for funsies too. ]

As far as I can tell though, yeah. Tsukasa and Mafuyu and I already exchanged numbers so we can text when we get home. I need to get Edamura-san's, too. And I should probably ask Ryuji for his just in case. There may be a few others who I'd ask or try to figure out something, but Earth is easiest.

[ he can't help but huff out an almost laugh at that ]

Wow. You can practically have a reunion.

[ he rolls his eyes then. ]

I already asked Tsukasa to hold three spare tickets for me for his next performance in Shibuya. It's a couple of hours from where I live now, but it'd be worth it to see him and also Mafuyu.

[ so yeah. there is that. though the tiniest thought of "if we actually remember this and things work out" drifts into his thoughts. ]

Edited 2025-12-31 09:18 (UTC)

[ . . ? the thought makes tobari pause, raising a brow. ]

You still have doubts about the end?

[ a noise of displeasure about the thoughtshare, because he can only assume that's what happened. ]

No. I just don't want to assume either. I think we almost have to because it wouldn't make sense to forget everything we've learned and done here for ourselves and the people we're rescuing. But... you know.

[ yeah sorry king, tobari isn't nice enough to ignore thoughts. this is how him prying into yosuke's business started in the first place ]

... yeah. I know. I know you have a tendency to overthink things.

I get that the unknown is something that's hard for anybody to handle, especially since we're getting to the end... but you've been feeling good about progress for your shard, right?

[ he can only assume. yosuke seemed like he had good friends already before tobari got here ]

[ yes he remembers 😒 ]

It's not... fine, maybe it is. But I like having some idea. [ he stays quiet then to consider the question. ]

I feel surprisingly really good about my progress, yeah. So I shouldn't be worried about the unknown. I know that. But it's just... a lot to think about. To just be given this chance and going home with everything changed.

[ point blank: ]

You're really into the guy that you're here to save, right?

Okay, what does that have to do with this? And before you get on my ass about avoidance, yes. So much, in fact, I chose to tie us together until we both die even before I realized I'm probably in love with him.

INBOX for purgastory

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject