aerodynamic | INBOX for purgastory

None of us did. All four of us remembered each other, but in a life designed by that place. It was a life where we knew every year, a god would come down from the mountain and pick people from the village to erase. If you were a certain age or past it when the god chose its number, it was over. Some of us had been erased a while ago but we were given new life inside new bodies.

[ she can have his hand to look, sure. it's a cut across his palm that looks like it might've come from a shard of glass. ]

But Elysium and Reirin were still human, so that meant we had to take some precautions to make sure they stayed alive.

[ Wonderful. She has a handkerchief she's pulling out to wrap around that cut-- ]

Population control...? But not for actual humans?

[ What. ]

[ oh. the action actually surprises him enough that he's watching for a few seconds before it registers she asked a question. ]

No, humans are the ones who get erased. Puppets were created for... I guess if you could hold onto a person long enough before their body turned to ash, you could put them inside a doll. [ which. creepy, now that he thinks about it, but it had been so normal for him at the time. ]

But it was a ceremony every year. There was no stopping the god from coming down the mountain and choosing the number to erase. And every year after, the expedition would set out to ascend to the summit to try and kill the god. This year was our turn to go. Humans and puppets both, anybody who wanted to. But the catch was... nobody ever came back from those expeditions alive. The teams grew smaller each year.

I see...

... So when you woke up in the morgue, does that mean your team also...

[ Yikes?? ]

[ he quickly shakes his head. ]

No. No, we didn't, that's what I don't understand. We reached the summit and we were on the way to confront the god, but then—

[ his breath catches in his throat for a moment and he stops. but then... ]

Something more important came up. So we had to act fast and turn around and leave when everything started to fall apart. But I'm pretty sure we all made it out alive.

I'm glad for that.

[ But why the morgue--she offers his hand a faint squeeze, careful of the handkerchief. ]

I wonder what caused all of that...

[ the contact very much helps even if her remains still, like he's worried about driving her off. ]

I don't know. I've been trying to figure it out, too. How did we get somewhere else and have our whole history rewritten? And why us four? Not to mention everybody else we saw who keep saying they weren't actually there. I don't... know what is and isn't real yet. That life wasn't, I know, but all of the pain was.

[ so what the fuck. ]

[ Yosuke, please. Does she look like a pansy-- ]

The pain and injuries clearly exist. And I'm sure whatever you felt there was real, too. But you have the time now to process it.

... I might have interrupted you while you were doing that.

[ ignores my typo also no but listen here. ]

It's like I said to Edamura-san. We still don't know how much time we really have for all of this and to get through the maze. [ so yes, processing, but also what if we only process enough to keep moving and don't unpack everything else? he slowly shakes his head though. ]

You're not interrupting. I, uh... this is better. Kinda helps with the separation thing? [ and there's a quiet, almost bitter laugh. ] Fighting isn't anything new, I don't know why...

[ "i don't know why i can't shake this", is what he means, while also knowing part of it is that this was a drastically different scenario. he just kind of thinks he should be able to bounce back better anyway. ]

Right now, you have as much time as you're willing to sit there and think about it. You might be used to fighting [ why is he used to fighting ] but there are different situations for that. And if you try to push past something too quickly, it lingers with you and attacks you later.

[ Speaking from experience. ]

You don't... need to push yourself, Hanamura-san.

[ she's right obviously, but sometimes you also take bad habits from your leader and apply them to this specific instance. ]

... I hear you. I do. But I keep thinking about how it's not going to do anyone any good if... I mean what if the amount of time I need is a lot more than we can afford here? That's the part that bothers me.

[ and this is maybe a little too emotionally honest, but: ]

This has happened before. Running away from a problem without giving it time. I thought I had learned, but maybe not. Different situations though, right? [ he's scrubbing over his face in annoyance. ]

What do I even say? People died because of choices I made and even if those people are obviously fine here I can't look at them without seeing their corpses? The only reason I remembered anything at all is because of someone who was there and left and now I don't know where they are? There aren't enough answers of what to do next.

[ She's silent throughout this, just listening. There are things she can't really understand, about his memory, about seeing people dead who are fine.

But... ]

Are you willing to come somewhere with me?

[ that wasn't what he expected, so there's a bit of rapid blinking as he processes that. ]

... yeah, of course.

[ She keeps one hand in hers and reaches for her phone, pulling up an app and tapping it. And the world...

... Dissolves into bright light and multicolored triangles, and when Yosuke can see again, he'll find himself somewhere else. There's a strange hush to the air, and more importantly, it's... absolutely empty. ]

No one should bother you here, if you need some time. I used to come here... mm, no I still come here when I start to feel overwhelmed.

[ oh. he stays still for a few moments, mostly so he can register where they are and this is so sad actually, MAFUYU.

but he also can get why this could be comforting. away from everyone and everything trying to pull you one way or another. ]

... way different than Tsukasa's. [ he comments on this lightly, because while he isn't entirely sure if this is a SEKAI, tsukasa had pulled the same sort of trick. he's maybe jumping to conclusions here. ] I can see how it might help for when things are... you know. A lot.

[ even though emptiness can be it's own kind of suppression. ]

Tenma-san's...?

[ Wait. Tsukasa has a SEKAI?

Huh... ]

Sometimes, even a familiar room or the noise around you can feel like too much. I don't know if it will help you, but you did seem like you were beginning to fray a little.

[ only belatedly does he remember tsukasa did say it was a secret, so. ]

Crap. Forget I said anything! [ ahhhh!!

but more to the point, there's a soft hum of agreement. sometimes being around the same four walls hurts more than helps if the thing that's bothering you is tied to that. and she comments on him starting to fray and there's another uneasy laugh, an embarrassed smile following. ]

That obvious, huh? Seriously uncool... [ a hand comes up to run the back of his neck as he looks away. ] I don't know where to start.

[ so a blank canvas does actually help. ]

Wherever you want.

[ Simply enough. ]

Though I would also prefer if you kept this to yourself. As much as you can.

[ NO TELLING, YOSUKE. ]

[ "where he wants" makes him feel like he'll sound like a little kid, so he shelves that for a second to focus on this place. he will get to the crux of it soon enough. ]

Yes, ma'am. [ haha. ] But I'm curious how this place came to be yours.

It happened... nearly three years ago. [ A slight shrug. ]

It just appeared one day and I was told it was born out of my feelings. That they'd grown powerful enough to make a SEKAI.

Even one as empty as this. [ She's aware. ]

[ based on her memory from before and also just gauging they're close enough in age, he can guesstimate when this SEKAI showed up. he's glad she is aware but boy howdy does this tell him something about her feelings if this is still how it looks three years later. ]

It's... sort of cool to think of it like having something for yourself nobody else does. [ tentatively. ] But on the other hand, it sounds like it could've been confusing at first, too. Guess you got used to it?

[ this adds up to what tsukasa told him about his, so this seems right. he does not want to ask about hatsune miku, he already learned now not to offer more than she says because it's a secret thing. though... he chews his bottom lip in thought because this sort of relates to something else on his mind. ]

If they're your feelings it must always be here. But have you ever... not been able to come here?

[ Yeah, he should not ask about Hatsune Miku. Or why it looks like this after three years. It's fine. She's fine. ]

... Once. When my laptop was taken away and my phone was broken.

[ And she'd lost her avenue into her own space. ]

[ IS SHE.

it's probably good that emotionshare hasn't quite started yet or she'd be bassboosted with yosuke's frustration at her mother. ]

... how'd you deal? [ it's hard to picture really functioning when a part of you is suddenly cut off like that. ]

I...

[ ... ]

Some of my friends... were able to reach out to me. If it wasn't for them, I think I would have broken.

[ mm. ah, yes, the relatable content. ]

The ones you make music with? [ they sound important. ] I'm glad. That they were able to reach you, I mean. Those connections are more important than anything to keep you going.

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